


I Will Follow You Into the Dark

by probablynotaduck



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Afterlife, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Child Abuse, Does it count as major character death if they're already dead?, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, The Organa Solos are good parents and you can fight me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:33:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26587435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/probablynotaduck/pseuds/probablynotaduck
Summary: Having fully expected to give his life to Rey, Ben Solo is surprised to wake up. His confusion only grows when he finds a strange red haired boy being attacked by mysterious figures. At least his parents there to help, somewhat.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 9
Kudos: 39
Collections: Kylux Big Bang 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Featuring art from the amazingly talented [DarthAstris](https://twitter.com/DarthAstris?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor) on Twitter!

The last thing Ben Solo expected to do was wake up. He’d been fully prepared to die. Giving his life to Rey had been the only way he could think to even begin to make up for the mess he’s made and the things he’d done. So why was he still here? Ben slowly tried to open his eyes. They were crusted shut as though he’d been unconscious for a long time. When he finally cracked his eyes open he squinted and tried to take stock of his surroundings. 

He was lying on his back on the ground. It looked like he was still on Exogal, given the dark and the rocks. But if he was still here then where was Rey? Ben shot upright, groaned, grabbed his head, and fell back to the ground. 

“Ow.” he groaned again and gently felt the back of his head for blood. Luckily there wasn’t any. Still, it hurt, and Ben hissed a few pained breaths through his teeth before slowly attempting to sit up again. Keeping his palms on the ground for balance he was able to carefully get himself into an upright sitting position. Turning his head too quickly was dizzying but he was able to slowly look around the cavern and ascertain that he was completely alone. 

That shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did. Had Rey just left him? Sure, she didn’t owe him anything, and he had stalked her, and tried to kill her friends multiple times, and killed a lot of innocent people in general, and consistently fought her every time he saw her, and kidnapped her that one time, and killed his own father in front of her, and wow that was a lot actually. No wonder she’d left him here. 

Ben grimaced as he thought through their past encounters. He really had been a monster and- Oh stars had he kissed her?! He had, hadn’t he. Why did he do that?! Ben felt his heart speeding up as he grappled with that alarming fact. He’d really kissed her. What the hell had possessed him to do something like that? As far as he knew he wasn’t even attracted to girls?! It had to have been caused by delirium and relief at being alive. That must have been it. Ben shook his head to dispel that unwanted memory, and then winced at the nausea the movement caused. He needed to get up and get off the planet, and make a plan.

Ben slowly rose to his knees and then his feet, sticking his arms out for balance. His legs were a little wobbly but they did their job and he managed to remain standing, despite a small wave of dizziness. Once standing he realized he couldn’t actually see the end of the chamber he was in. The rough floor seemed to extend indefinitely in all directions. That wasn’t right.

Ben frowned. Which way was out? He needed to find a wall, he reasoned. If he could find a wall he could follow it to the exit. There should be a wall no matter which way he went so it didn’t really matter. Having figured that out Ben shrugged and started walking straight forward. 

Ben walked straight forward for a very long time. A very, very, long time. That couldn’t be right. He was surrounded by darkness now. Looking down he inhaled sharply in surprise to see there was no longer ground beneath his feet, just darkness and a faint white glow that looked almost like a path. Where was he?! A tiny voice in the back of Ben’s mind said he knew exactly where he was, but he shook his head again and pretended not to hear anything. He continued walking. 

\-----

Ben wasn’t sure how long it had been, only that he wasn’t tired yet, and that he’d long since given up hope of finding a wall to find his way out with. He just kept following the glowing path laid before him. He thought maybe he should be tired, but then again maybe it had only been a few minutes. He wasn’t hungry or thirsty, which struck him as strangest of all, as he had no idea how long he’d been laying alone on Exogal. The whole thing felt wrong and Ben couldn’t stop the pit of anxiety in his stomach from growing.

He was still holding out hope that things would finally make sense when it happened. 

“Ben.” 

It took just one word for Ben’s whole world to come crashing down. How could she be here? He froze, shoulders tense. But she couldn’t be here. He was alone and lost and why would she be here for him? 

“Hey kiddo.” 

Another voice and now Ben shook. His eyes burned from being held open but if he blinked he was certain tears would start falling. He couldn’t turn around, not knowing if he’d see his parents behind him or just more of the empty black that surrounded him. Not knowing which would be worse. 

A hand on his shoulder. Ben’s shaking stopped and now he was ramrod straight, not daring to move or even breath. 

“Ben look at me.” 

He hadn’t heard his mother’s voice for so long. 

“Mom?” Ben wanted to sound composed but the tremor in his voice gave him away. He brought a hand up to cover his mouth as he slowly turned around. The tears escaped his eyes when he finally saw his parents standing in front of him and he barely choked down a sob. “Dad, I’m-”

“I know.” Han- his father- didn’t look mad. Tired, and maybe a little sad, but there was no anger in his face when he looked at Ben. Instead he held his arms open, a silent peace offering. Ben wasted no time rushing into the hug. He buried his face in his father’s shoulder and felt more tears squeeze out of his eyes and soak into Han’s shirt. A moment later he felt his mother embrace him from behind, her arms barely reaching around him.

Ben wasn’t sure how long it had been when they disentangled themselves from each other, just that it could never be long enough. He rubbed at his eyes with his sleeve, embarrassed at crying like a child. Then again, his parents had just as many tears in their eyes so maybe it was alright after all. 

Before he could figure out his emotions Ben felt a sudden tug in his gut, like he needed to be somewhere but had forgotten. He pondered what it could mean for a moment before Leia’s face changed from bittersweet happiness to carefully blank.

“Ben.” He couldn’t read her mood, her voice was just as expressionless as her face. Then she grabbed him by the ear and dragged his head down to her eye level. “What the fuck were you thinking?!” Ben knew better than to interrupt before Leia was finished. “Why didn’t you talk to us?! We are your parents Ben you can trust us with anything I thought you knew that?!” Her voice broke. “I know you were scared but what you did?! Killing all those children and running off to join Snoke?!” She spat his name like it pained her. “Ben you hurt so many people!” 

Ben wanted to apologize, but there was nothing he could say to make up for what he’d done. The hug had felt so nice, he’d thought maybe his parents had somehow forgiven him. 

“Ben,” Apparently Leia wasn’t done. “I am furious with you!” Ben winced and turned his eyes to the floor. He couldn’t bear to meet her gaze anymore.

“I’m furious.” Leia repeated, “And I’m so proud of you.” 

Wait what? Ben looked back at his mother, confusion filling his face. “What?” His voice came out choked and uncertain.

Leia let go of his ear and moved her hand to his shoulder instead. “I’m proud of you. I know how hard it was for you to overcome, his, influence.” She hesitated before saying “his” clearly not wanting to repeat Snoke’s name again. “I’m furious you let him get such a strong hold over you without ever coming to us for help, but you beat him. In the end you did the right thing.” She smiled softly. “And even before you did, even when you insisted on being called Kylo Ren and you killed innocent people, I never stopped loving you.”

Ben gaped at her. “But I- The things I did- Dad!” He gestured at Han, who had been quiet through Leia’s outburst. “You can’t have still-” He didn’t want to say it.

It was Han who answered this time “She never stopped loving you Ben, and neither did I. Not even while I was dying. Which wasn’t for very long!” He was quick to reassure Ben. “It didn’t hurt either.” Han put his hand on Ben’s other shoulder. “We love you, kid.”

“You are our son, Ben.” Leia was smiling at him again. “We will always love you, no matter what you do or who you become. I wish you’d known that sooner, maybe then all of this could’ve been avoided.” Her voice was wistful, but sad. She blames herself, Ben realized.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Ben tried to look both his parents in the eyes at once but just ended up quickly glancing back and forth between them. “I was a stupid, scared kid. There was nothing you could’ve done to change what happened.”

Ben should have been expecting the second hug, but was still startled as his parents pulled him in against them. This hug was shorter than the first, but no less meaningful. When they all finally pulled away Ben noticed his surroundings for the first time.

“This, this is our house.” He turned in a small circle as he took in where they were. Somehow he’d ended up indoors, though he was fairly certain he’d been surrounded by the black void when he’d found his parents. 

“Yep.” Han grinned at him. “Same as it was.”

“Exactly the same.” Leia agreed, before lowering her voice to a mock whisper. “Your father still hasn’t fixed the back door.”

Ben laughed. The backdoor of their old home had always creaked. Han had sworn he’d change the hinges for years but it never happened. “We’re dead, aren’t we?” He was surprised to find he was okay with that. If death meant his parents were happy and together, and they were back in his childhood home, he could live with that. 

“Yes.” Han confirmed, “We’re all dead. You gave your life to Rey, from what I understand.”

“Well, we’re not dead. Just one with the force.” Leia corrected Han, who rolled his eyes dramatically at Ben, earning a light elbow to the ribs from Leia. Ben laughed again. He hadn’t laughed in a long time.

“Why don’t you come sit down?” Han gestured behind them all towards the living room. “I think we have a lot to catch up on.”

Ben was about to agree but stopped before the words could leave his mouth. There was that pull again. A gentle tug in his chest, though it was more insistent now. Regretfully he looked at his parents, not wanting to leave but knowing there was somewhere else he should be. Leia met his eyes. He wasn’t sure how but she knew, but she always knew.

“Go.” She nodded to him. “Trust the force. You’re needed somewhere. We’ll still be here.” It was the reassurance Ben needed. He could come back to them. He was always welcome with his parents now. 

Ben took a steadying breath and turned away from his parents. He walked forward and the wooden walls and gentle light of his home melted away from him. The glowing white path reappeared and he took a few confident steps forward before looking back. His parents were standing together, arm in arm. Han waved to him, and Ben offered him a small smile before turning away again.

The darkness swirled around his feet and Ben looked forward with interest. There was something glowing in the distance, something besides the pathway. He picked up his pace into a light jog. The glow became clearer as Ben approached. It was a large glowing white circle, standing on its edge to the side of the path Ben was on. He stopped in front of it, feeling as though it was important, though not knowing why. 

While Ben stared, the darkness within the circle began to ripple and change. He instinctively took a step back but didn’t turn away. He squinted at the ripple until it solidified into solid white. No, not just white, Ben realized, snow. He was looking at snow.

The image began to move, gliding across the snow until Ben could see red drops staining the perfect white. Blood. The image moved up and Ben saw himself, lying in the snow and bleeding. He cringed and brought a hand up to feel his face where his scar had been. 

The Ben in the image, no, Ben corrected himself. That was Kylo Ren, not Ben. He’d changed since then. The man in the image was still wholly under Snoke’s influence. Kylo Ren was barely breathing, his eyes half open but unseeing.

Ben had no memory of what had happened after Rey had beaten him on Starkiller. He’d woken up in the medbay with a screaming body and an aching heart. He’d found out later that Hux of all people had been the one to save him. Snoke had commanded him to, but still. Kylo had been amazed Hux hadn’t just shot him.

Sure enough, Hux came into view in the image. He looked flustered, and Ben stared intently. Flustered was a strange look on the general. He was always so well put together but now his hair hung off his head as though distressed fingers had been run through it again and again. Hux’s face was grim, his mouth pinched thinner than Ben had ever seen it. Hux knelt next to Kylo in the image and Ben watched Kylo deliriously reach out. 

Surprisingly Hux took Kylo’s hand before looking back and calling over his shoulder with words Ben couldn’t hear. Several stormtroopers walked into the image with a stretcher and lifted Kylo carefully up and onto it before turning back. The image followed Kylo as he was carried and Ben stared transfixed. Hux kept hold of Kylo’s hand the entire time. Ben watched himself be carried onto a small ship with Hux’s hand still gripping his. The ship took off and the image rippled before fading once more to black.

Ben was baffled by what he had seen. As far as he knew, Hux had still hated him then, so why? Ben shook his head. It wouldn’t help to dwell on the past. Things with Hux had been beyond ruined in the end. Ben shook his head and turned away, continuing down his glowing path.

It wasn’t long before Ben came upon another glowing circle. This one showed events he remembered. Ben watched Kylo Ren bully his way out of the medbay far earlier than was advisable. Kylo stumbled down the hallways of the Finalizer, cursing at anyone who tried to stop him. Ben watched as Kylo began to leave a trail of blood down the hall behind him, having torn open the bowcaster wound in his struggle to reach his own quarters.

Inevitably, Kylo fell, and Ben cringed at the pained noise his past self made. Before Kylo could hit the ground, however, he was caught and his descent was slowed until he was crouched on the ground, being held by a pair of arms in long black sleeves. 

Ben watched from an outside perspective as Hux caught Kylo and attempted to calm him. The red haired man eased Kylo back to standing with an arm over Hux’s shoulder and begrudgingly helped Kylo to his quarters. Once inside Hux wrestled Kylo out of his hospital gown and began to redress Kylo’s wound. It would have been kind had Hux made any attempt to be gentle while doing it. Ben remembered Hux had made some comment about Snoke having his head if Kylo died, before leaving Kylo to rest. The scene rippled away.

Ben turned away from the glowing frame only to see a new circle just a few paces away. He approached and watched as this one showed Hux barging into Kylo’s personal quarters with the intent to force him to eat, only to find Kylo in tears on the floor. Ben remembered that night. He’d been trying to come to grips with his father’s death, with the fact that he had been the one to kill him. Hux had let himself in and immediately started ranting about how he hadn’t saved Kylo just to let him neglect himself and die. He’d seemed genuinely angry until he saw Kylo on the floor. Then he’d seemed unsure what to feel. 

Ben watched Hux set down the tray of food he’d brought and kneel next to Kylo. Hux said something, but again there was no sound. Ben watched as Kylo silently screamed at Hux to get out. Hux retorted, Ben was fairly certain he’d said something about Kylo’s inability to care for himself. The two of them had fought before Kylo had felt all the energy drain out of him. Ben remembered that feeling. He’d felt so completely alone. Killing Han had destroyed any chance of anyone from his old life still loving him. Snoke had made sure Kylo was aware of that, the liar.

The Kylo in the image collapsed against Hux, anchoring his hands in Hux’s greatcoat and just clinging to him. Ben watched Hux’s face, something he hadn’t been able to see at the time. At first Hux looked furious, but the fury drained quickly into confusion before giving way to what Ben swore was concern. Hux hesitantly brought his arms up around Kylo, awkwardly patting his back with one hand. 

Ben watched that scene too fade to black. He was hardly surprised when he looked down his path to see it lined with dozens of glowing circles. Approaching the next one Ben watched another scene of Hux caring for him after Starkiller. The circle after that showed a similar scene, as did the one after that. Ben was especially interested in the circle that showed Kylo and Hux kissing for the first time, right before Kylo left to complete his training with Snoke. Ben brought a finger up to ghost over his own lips as he watched. 

More circles showed scenes after Kylo returned. Ben watched Kylo and Hux fight with each other, and kiss each other. Stolen kisses took a more intimate turn as Ben walked further down the glowing path before him. He watched things escalate from rushed hidden things in empty rooms to whole nights spent together. Ben watched with a growing sense of dread in his stomach, knowing exactly how this story ended. He didn’t want to relive what was coming next, but he still couldn’t turn away from the scenes being presented to him. 

Ben felt sick when he finally came to the first of the scenes he’d been dreading. Still he didn’t look away. Ben watched Kylo force choke Hux before leaving him crumpled on the ground. He only covered his eyes when the scene was over, forcing himself to take steadying breaths before uncovering his eyes and continuing to the next scene. He watched himself throw Hux into the wall. Watched Hux stalk away from him as soon as they were back aboard the Finalizer.

Ben watched a scene he hadn’t known about, watched Hux retreat to his quarters and shake with tears, holding a hand over his throat where bruises were starting to form. Ben wanted to turn away but he forced himself to watch. He deserved this, to him it almost felt like watching what he’d done was the only way to punish himself for it.

Ben watched more and more scenes. He watched Kylo and Hux fight. He watched as Hux became more distant. He watched Kylo grow angry. The more Hux kept his distance the angrier Kylo got and the angrier Kylo got the more Hux tried to avoid him. It was a vicious cycle. Of course Klyo had never bothered to talk to Hux, to apologize or attempt to make amends. He watched as Kylo effectively stripped Hux of his command and had him answer to General Pryde. Ben blinked back tears as he watched Hux grow more subdued and cold. 

There were so many more circles to go and Ben began to wonder if he would be made to watch every fight he and Hux had ever had. Ben was trying to mentally prepare himself when he heard screaming. He jerked away from the path and the circles to search for the source of the screams. There was nothing but darkness on either side of him. He heard screaming again and quickly turned in the direction he thought it was coming from. It sounded like a child. 

Ben hesitated for a moment but the tug in his chest suddenly made itself known again, and it was strong. He stumbled a few steps forward towards the edge of the pathway before regaining his balance. Ben set his jaw, took one last look at his glowing pathway of memories, before stepping off into the darkness. 

Ben walked hurriedly through the dark, barely noticing when a new path appeared under him. He practically sprinted forward when he heard the screaming start again. It was definitely a child. The tug in his chest was a pounding ache now, pulling him forward. He ran until he came to a place where the path widened. It looked almost like a clearing one might find in a forest, but instead of trees it was surrounded by darkness. In the middle of the clearing was a group of three figures surrounding a smaller figure on the ground. It was the small figure who was screaming. 

Ben ran closer, feeling an overwhelming surge of protectiveness. The small figure was laying on their side with their arms covering their face in a feeble effort to protect themselves. They were letting out small choked sobs. Ben continued running forward, and he watched in horror as one the standing figures kicked the smaller one viciously in the back. 

Ben could now make out the figures as three human men towering over the crying child. Ben rushed forward, reaching to his hip and pulling out his lightsaber. He didn’t question where it had come from or how long he had had it, he was just pleased it was blue and not red. Ben pushed between two of the men before turning and using the force to push them all back and away from the child. 

“Stay away from him!” Ben had no idea who the child or any of these men were, in fact, he noticed the men’s faces were all slightly distorted, he couldn’t make out any details. That didn’t matter, he reminded himself, he needed to keep them away from the boy on the ground. 

One of the men drew a blaster and fired off a few shots which Ben easily deflected. “Useless brat!” The man roared angrily. 

“I’m sorry!” Ben turned slightly to look down at the boy who was trying to choke out on apology while still hiding his face and protecting himself. “I’m sorry. I can do better. I can do better just please stop!” Ben was about to offer some comforting words to the boy when the man with the blaster spoke again.

“Useless boy!” He had red hair that was just starting to go grey. Ben narrowed his eyes and swung his lightsaber through the man. The man disappeared like a wisp of smoke and Ben stumbled, not expecting the lack of resistance against his attack. Recovering his balance he quickly swung at the other two men who vanished just as quickly. Ben wasn’t worried about killing them now that he knew they would disappear. Could he even kill people here? They were all already dead so how would that work? A sniffle from behind him stopped his train of thoughts and demanded his attention.

Ben turned and knelt next to the small boy on the ground. The boy was still curled up and trembling, not seeming to notice Ben’s presence. He had red hair, like the man with the blaster, and Ben wondered briefly if they were related. He cautiously reached out and put a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“Are you alright?” Ben tried to keep his voice soft, not something he was great at. Even as Ben Solo and not Kylo Ren he’d never exactly had a soothing voice. 

The boy tensed under Ben’s hand before slowly uncurling to look up at him. “You’re not a monster?” It sounded like a question the way the boy said it, and Ben was tempted to tell him that he had been, but then decided that wouldn’t be the most reassuring answer.

“No.” He told the boy. “No, I’m not a monster. My name is Ben.” He sat back next to the boy, pulling his hand back to give the boy room to sit up. “What’s your name? Who were those men?” Ben wondered if the boy knew he was dead. He’d broach that topic later. For now he needed to figure out who this kid was and why the force wanted Ben to help him so badly. 

The boy sniffled and rubbed at his eyes. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop soon. I didn’t mean to cry.” He took a few breaths and blinked rapidly, clearly trying to stop his tears as quickly as possible. “My name is Armie.”

“Army?” Ben nodded. “It’s okay to cry, Army. It looks like those men were really hurting you.”

Armie shook his head. “Crying is a sure sign of weakness, which is to be despised.” He spoke as though he were repeating someone else's words. “What do you mean men?” Armie sounded confused now. “Are you talking about the monsters?” 

Ben frowned. “Monsters?” That was weird. 

“Monsters.” Armie confirmed. “Didn’t you see them? You told them to stay away from me.” Armie had stopped crying and was trying to straighten the white uniform shirt he wore. “The monsters have been chasing me since I got here. They’re really scary.” Armie continued. “They have glowing eyes and huge mouths and their bodies flicker!” He gestured widely with his arms to emphasize flicker. 

“Umm, okay.” Ben nodded slowly. “Army, do you know why the monsters are chasing you?” 

“Because I’m a disappointment.” Armie didn’t hesitate at all to answer. “Wasted potential must be beaten into productivity.” He spoke like he was repeating someone else’s words again. 

“Who told you that!?” Ben was horrified. He was also starting to suspect that he’d been right about the red haired man being Armie’s father.

“My father.” 

Ben groaned inwardly, not pleased to find out he was right. “Army, your father shouldn’t be hitting you. You know that right?”

Armie shrugged. “Can we just leave? I don’t want to be here when the monsters come back.” He hesitated and glanced quickly around before lowering his voice. “I want my mom.”

“They’re going to come back?” Ben wasn’t particularly alarmed, they hadn’t exactly been difficult to deal with. “Where’s your mom?” 

“I don’t know.” Armie shrugged. “But I want to see her again.”

“Okay.” Ben frowned again, how was he supposed to find this kids mom? “What does your mom look like?”

“I don’t know, but I think she was very pretty.” Armie sounded sad now.

“Okay……” This kid had one messed up life. “What’s her name?”

Armie just shrugged, looking absolutely dejected. He stared at the ground in defeat, lightly kicking his foot against the black nothingness. 

Ben felt that feeling of protectiveness swell back up. “Hey, we’ll find her, okay?” He held out his hand to the kid. “Don’t worry.”

Armie hesitantly took Ben’s hand, looking up at him questioningly. “Which way do we go?”

“I don’t think it really matters, I’m sure we’ll get where we’re going.” Ben started walking forward, tugging Armie’s arm gently until he followed. “The force will guide us.”

Armie wrinkled his nose. “The force isn’t something to rely on. Jedi rely on it, and it makes them weak.” He said the word “jedi” with some disgust. 

Ben laughed. “Oh really? You know I’m a jedi, right?”

Armie frowned up at Ben, although Ben could swear he saw fear behind Armie’s eyes. “I don’t think I’m supposed to talk to you.”

“Did your father tell you that?” Ben guessed.

“Maybe.” Armie looked down at the ground, face flushing slightly. “Yes.”

“You shouldn’t believe everything your father tells you.” Ben smiled kindly at Armie, not wanting to worry him any further. “He doesn’t seem like he always has your best interest at heart.”

“He has the interest of the Order at heart.” Armie stated this like it was obvious. “My job is to further the First Order, if I can’t do that, there was no point in me being born.”

“Stars did your father say that too?!” Ben didn’t mean to shout but this was outrageous, and he’d never exactly been good with his temper. “I’ll kill him much slower if he shows up again!”

Armie shrunk next to Ben, hunching his shoulders and pulling his hand away to clutch protectively in front of his chest while he walked. “I’m sorry! I’ll stop talking about him!” 

Ben cursed himself as he realized his mistake. “No I’m sorry!” Armie flinched and looked like he was about to apologize again. “I’m sorry.” Ben was quieter this time. “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at your father. Wait- did you say the First Order?” That explained Armie’s view on jedi. “I used to be a part of that.”

“Used to?” Armie shook his head. “So you’re a jedi and a traitor? I really shouldn’t be with you.” He took a few steps back from Ben.

“Well, I’m your best bet at finding your mom, right?” Ben didn’t like the idea of this kid wandering around on his own, especially not with his father… ghost? Spirit? Memory? Not with his monster father looking to hurt him. Though, Armie was looking less like a kid. Ben hadn’t noticed it as they walked but Armie looked like a teenager now. With long awkward limbs sticking out of his uniform and Ben swore he’d grown a few inches. “Army, how old are you?” Ben tilted his head slightly as he looked down at the boy.

Armie’s face pinched as he thought. He opened and closed his mouth a few times as his frown deepened before answering. “I…. don’t know.” He looked up at Ben. “Why don’t I know how old I am?” His look turned suspicious. 

“Err...” Ben glanced away. How was Armie going to take this? It was definitely a good thing Armie had aged up because there was no way Ben was going to try and explain to that terrified little kid that he was dead. “What’s the last thing you remember before you got here?” Helping Armie remember dying would be a good way to break it gently.

“The last thing……?” Armie trailed off, thinking. “They shot me in the leg? Who…?” He looked up at Ben again. “No, after that. There was something after that. I was very angry. Why can’t I remember properly?” Armie sounded more annoyed than afraid and Ben swore he’d grown again while he was thinking.

“It’s alright Army, take your time.” Ben tried to be encouraging. Armie remembered being shot, that was probably a good start to remembering whatever happened to him.

“Don’t call me Armie!” Armie snapped. “It’s childish, my name’s Armitage.”

Ben froze, staring as Armitage walked a few more steps before turning when he realized Ben wasn’t next to him. 

“What?” Armitage sounded quite irritated by now.

“Armitage.” Ben repeated. “Your name is Armitage, you have red hair and you’re part of the First Order.” Kriff, how had he not connected the dots before?!

“Yes?” Armitage raised an eyebrow and stars did Ben know that look all too well.

“Armitage Hux.” It wasn’t a question. “Hux I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize you’d...” Ben trailed off, worrying his hands together. He would’ve liked to break something, but that wasn’t currently an option. “I’d hoped you survived.” He really had. Hux was smart, and a part of Ben had just assumed he would be fine, despite Ben’s betrayal and the Resistance destroying the First Order.

“Survived?” Hux stared at him blankly before his face was taken over with dawning realization. “He shot me. I’m dead. You’re dead. We’ve been dead this whole time.” 

Hux stared at Ben and Ben was relieved to recognize the adult face looking at him. He was relieved, until a moment later when Hux’s face filled with recognition and then rage. Well, kriff.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux is pissed.

“You!” Hux’s face contorted in fury. 

“Hux wait!” Ben took a step back and held his hands up in an attempt to pacify Hux. It must not have worked because before he could do anything else Hux had drawn his blaster and was pointing it at Ben’s head. “Whoa, okay, Hux calm down.”

That had clearly been the wrong thing to say as Hux’s face somehow turned even more furious before he fired three shots directly into Ben’s chest. Ben stumbled backwards before realizing that it hadn’t hurt whatsoever and that he appeared to be entirely uninjured. Hux must have also realized this because he lowered the blaster while muttering what Ben assumed were some very colorful curse words.

“You can’t hurt me. We’re both already dead.” Ben explained for lack of anything else to say.

“Yes, obviously.” Hux spat the words in his direction, crossing his arms over his chest and turning away.

“Hux, I’m so sor-” 

“Don’t you dare apologize to me!” Hux whirled back to face Ben. “Don’t you dare pretend you could somehow make up for everything you put me through! You-” Hux glared at Ben, opening and closing his mouth, apparently at a loss for words. That was a first. “I’m dead because of you!” Hux practically screamed. “I wasn’t done yet! I had so much to do and you took that from me!”

Ben looked at the ground, grinding his big toe into the infinite darkness that made up their surroundings. “It’s not my fault the resistance won. Not really.” Okay so maybe he had played a key part in taking down Palpatine, at least he liked to think he’d helped, but Hux didn’t need to know that quite yet. 

“The resistance won?” Hex perked up slightly. “Good.”

“Good?! Hux the First Order was your entire life! What do you mean good?” Ben was completely floored, snapping his head up to stare at Hux.

“It’s good because it means you lost. There is no empire for you to rule. You lost, Kylo!” Hux made a sweeping gesture with his arms. This was the most animated Ben had ever seen him. 

“It’s Ben now, actually.” Ben looked back at the ground.

“Oh is it?!” Hux roared. Then he froze and fell silent. Ben was alarmed for a moment before realizing Hux was making an effort to calm himself. Good. Maybe Hux would let him apologize now. 

Ben waited for a moment before stepping closer to Hux, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder. “Hux-”

Before Ben knew what had happened his arm had been knocked away and there was a blade at his throat. “Do. Not. Touch. Me.” Hux’s words practically dripped venom.

Ben put his hands up again and cautiously backed away. Logically he knew he couldn’t be hurt but there was still something intimidating about having a knife at your throat. 

“Okay.” He nodded, “No touching.” After another moment of silence he cleared his throat. “What do we do now?”

“We?” Hux scoffed. “We don’t do anything. I am leaving.” 

“Where will you go?” Ben tried to mask his disappointment. He really had been hoping for a chance to fix things.

Hux shrugged. “Maybe I’ll continue looking for my mother. It would be something to keep me occupied.” 

“Is she force sensitive?” Ben was curious.

“What does that have to do with it?” 

“You’re only here because you’re force sensitive.” 

“I am most certainly not!” Hux almost looked angrier about that than he had when he’d accused Ben of being at fault for his death. “That’s ridiculous.” He stuck his chin out, almost daring Ben to argue with him.

Ben shrugged. “I’m as surprised as you are, but it’s true. We’re all only here because of the force.”

Hux glared at him. “That changes nothing. I’m still leaving.” With that he turned on his heel and began walking away. 

“Hux wait.” Ben reached out to him, but Hux either didn’t notice or didn’t care, he just kept walking. Ben let his arm fall limply to his side. He was certain the force had been pulling him to Hux, but for what? Just to save him from those men and then lose him again? Who were the men? He still had so many questions and things to say, was he really supposed to just let Hux walk away? Was he really supposed to lose him again?

No! Ben looked back to where Hux had been but he was already gone, swallowed up by the blackness that surrounded them. Ben grimaced when he felt his eyes begin to prickle. If Hux wanted nothing to do with him he had no one to blame but himself. At least he could go back to his parents. He didn’t need Hux, Ben had a family and a home to go back to. But Hux doesn’t, a little voice in the back of Ben’s head whispered traitorously. 

Ben shook his head. That wasn’t his problem. Hux would resent him for trying to help anyway. With his mind made up Ben turned away from where Hux had gone and began walking, confident he’d find his parents again no matter which way he went. This place didn’t strike him as entirely linear.

He’d only been walking for a few minutes when he felt the tug in his chest again. It was even stronger than before and Ben stumbled for a moment, feeling as though he was being dragged backwards. He regained his balance and turned around. The force wanted him to go back to Hux. But should he really go? Hux clearly didn’t want to be around him. Another powerful lurch in his gut made the decision for Ben. He was going back.

Ben would feel guilty later, but he dragged his feet as he went back to Hux. He really wasn’t looking to be yelled at again. Sure, he deserved it, but it still hurt. So Ben walked slowly through the blackness down his silvery glowing path, keeping an eye out for any sign of Hux.   
It turned out he could hear Hux before he could see him. Ben’s jerked to attention as he heard a voice up ahead that was unmistakably Hux’s. 

“I’m sorry!” Hux sounded terrified and Ben cursed himself for ever letting him go. “I’m sorry! I’ll do better I’m sorry please stop!” Ben broke into a run, sprinting forward, lightsaber already out and glowing in his hand. 

“Hux!” He could see him now, surrounded by the same three men. At least, he assumed they were the same, their faces were still distorted. Hux was crouched on the ground, covering his head with his arms to deflect the blows being rained down on him. Why wasn’t he fighting back? Now that Ben thought about it, why was he being hurt at all? Ben had been shot and nothing had happened, but Hux appeared to genuinely be in pain. Ben could get those answers later, for now he needed to make these men pay.

Ben skewered the first man before he could even turn to defend himself. The other two roared in anger, the sound seemed almost inhuman and for a moment Ben could understand why Armitage had told him the men were monsters. All thoughts besides combat left his mind when the other two men pulled out blasters. Ben skillfully deflected their shots before decapitating the man nearest to him. The third kept shooting, not seeming to care that his companions were dead. Ben put a stop to that, advancing close enough to cut the man’s arm clean off before cutting him in half across his middle. He stood panting for a moment before remembering Hux.

“Hux?” Ben turned quickly and knelt down next to him. Hux was still crouched on the ground with his arms curled protectively over his head and face. Ben could still hear him whispering pleas for the beating to stop. “Hux it’s over. They’re gone.” He cautiously put a hand on Hux’s shoulder, surprised when Hux allowed it. “You’re safe.” 

Hux finally peered out at him from behind his arm. “Ky- Ben?” His throat sounded raw from screaming and Ben pretended not to notice the tell tale glisten of tears in his eyes.

“Yeah. Yeah it’s me.” Ben smiled encouragingly. At least, he hoped it was encouraging. “Hux who were those men?” 

“Ben.” Hux repeated his name as though he were trying to convince himself of Ben’s presence. “They were-” He stopped suddenly, features narrowing. “That’s none of your business. I don’t need your protection.” Hux put his arms down at his sides and sat fully on the ground, shaking off Ben’s hand. “I said I was leaving. What are you doing here?”

“I just saved you and that’s how you thank me?” Ben clenched his hands into fists at his sides. 

“Oh so now I have to thank you for not being horrible to me?” Hux glowered.

“No! That’s not what I meant!” Ben groaned, tugging on a piece of his hair in frustration. “I just want to help.” He softened his voice before sitting fully on the ground as well. “Please let me help?”

“I don’t need your help.” Hux scoffed again.

“Right, because you were doing fine on your own.”

“I can take care of myself!” 

“Okay, okay.” Ben held his hands up placatingly. “I’m sorry.” He was apologizing a lot today. Not his favorite thing. “I just, I’m worried about you. I know you hate me, but I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“Oh really?” Hux was glaring. “That’s news to me.” 

Ben stared at the ground. “I really am sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. Or, maybe I did then, but I was wrong. Hux please, let me make up for it.”

“You can make up for it by respecting my wishes and leaving me alone.” Hux was refusing to look at him.

“And if the men come again?” Ben kept trying to catch Hux’s eye anyway. “Hux they’re hurting you. And it’s obvious they scare you. I don’t want to leave you to that.”

“Then sit silently while I come up with a plan.” Hux finally looked at Ben, glaring to show he was serious. 

“I can be silent.” Ben nodded. Silence was easy. Talking took effort so not talking shouldn’t really be a problem, right? Right. Ben set his jaw and focused on not talking. At first he sat still, then he began drumming his fingers on his leg. When that wasn’t enough he slapped the ground rhythmically with his hands. After what felt like ages he stood up and began pacing in slow circles around the area they sat in. The circles grew boring so he began jogging in place. Finally he couldn’t hold it in anymore. 

“Why can they hurt you?” Ben moved to stand in front of Hux. “The men, I mean. You clearly can’t hurt me, so why?” He dropped down to sit in front of Hux. “If we can figure out how they work maybe we can figure out how to get rid of them for good. I can help if you let me. Who are they and why are they attacking you?”

Hux glared at him. “I asked for silence.”

“I was silent!”

“For less than five minutes!” Hux threw his hands up in defeat. “Fine! Fine, you want to know who they are?! They are my father and his friends!” Hux crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the ground. “Are you happy now?” His voice was suddenly much quieter and it nearly broke on the word happy. 

Ben felt his heart break. “What?” How could someone’s own father do that to them? He tried to wrap his head around it. Sure, he’d resented his parents for a long time, but looking back on it they really had done everything they could to be good parents. They’d certainly never hurt him. “Hux I’m so sorry.”

“Save it! I didn’t tell you because I wanted your pity.” Hux was still staring at the ground. Ben tilted his head to try and see his expression. Hux was blinking rapidly, a tactic Ben knew was meant to hold back tears. “You offered to help, so help.”

Ben nodded, turning thoughtful. “You told me they were monsters, not men. Why did you say that?”

“Because they appear to me as monsters.” Hux stated simply. “They were monstrous in life and now they’re even worse in death.”

“Are they though?” 

The look Hux gave him could’ve killed Ben all over again.

“Not what I meant!” Ben quickly backpedaled. “I just meant, are they actually dead? Are they actually here? Think about it. Nothing here can hurt us, so why can they hurt you? I don’t think they’re real.”

“They feel real enough.” Hux grimaced and rubbed his arm. “But I suppose, that is a possibility. What would that mean?”

Ben shrugged. “The force is complicated. It could be they’re only here because of you. That they’re more like, I don’t know, physical manifestations of your trauma.”

Hux raised an eyebrow. “Those were some large words, be careful not to strain yourself.” 

Okay, so Hux was definitely still mad at him, even if they were cooperating. “Thanks.” Ben answered dryly. “Look, I’m just trying to help. So, you said your father was monstrous in life. I’m guessing,” He hesitated before continuing. “I’m guessing he hit you. And his friends did too?” Ben couldn’t wrap his head around a parent doing that to a child.

“Yes.” Hux hunched his shoulders. “It was a long time ago, it doesn’t matter. I had him killed. It’s over.”

“And his friends?” Ben pressed, “What happened to them.”

“I did my best to have them killed.” Hux shrugged, clearly trying to act like this wasn’t bothering him. “Of course, I couldn’t get to all of them, but you’d know that.”

“What?” Ben frowned.

“You knowingly put him in a position of power over me!” Hux was back to yelling. “You let him kill me! You stood by and let me be hurt, you even contributed to it! You promised me you’d never hurt me and you let him kill me!”

Ben blinked a few times, trying to process the information he was receiving. “Hux please calm down.”

Once again that was the wrong thing to say. “Calm down!?” Hux was practically screaming now. “I’ve spent my whole life being calm, no matter what was thrown at me! What did I get for it?! I got more abuse! No matter how high I climbed there was always someone stronger than me! Someone who hurt me!” That had definitely been the wrong thing to say.

“I’m sorry.” Ben didn’t know what else to say. “Hux I swear I never meant- I mean- I am so sorry I hurt you. I wish I could say I never meant to but that wouldn’t be true. I knowingly hurt you. I knowingly hurt you and I am so sorry and I would do anything to take it back.” Now it was Ben’s turn to try not to cry. “I messed up. I messed up terribly and I don’t know how to fix it and I’m sorry.” He took a breath. “This isn’t about me though, it’s about helping you. You said I let him kill you. Who are you talking about?” 

“Pryde.” Ben wasn’t sure if Hux was calming down or if his throat just hurt but either way he’d stopped yelling. “Pryde killed me. He worked with my father, he knew me since I was a child, and he killed me. You gave him power over me and he killed me.”

Ben clamped a hand over his mouth, feeling his stomach drop. “Hux I had no idea. I’m so sorry, I- I didn’t know.”

“You would have if you did any reading on your subordinates.” Hux looked up at him, exasperation clear in his voice. “You really were a terrible Supreme Leader.”

“I really was.” Ben agreed. “Hux I swear if I had known I never would have-” He stopped, debating. Would it really have made a difference. Sure, Ben hated everything he’d put Hux through now, put at the time he doubted Kylo Ren would’ve really cared. 

Hux was looking fully at Ben now instead of the ground. “So,” His voice was shaky. “So I’m still seeing them because I’m still afraid of them? Is that what this means?” He sounded tired now, not angry. 

“I think so.” Ben nodded. “So, I’m guessing Pryde is one of them, then who’s the other?”

“Brooks.” Hux spat his name. “He was an admiral. I killed him personally.” A small smile found its way into Hux’s face. “It was a small victory, but it felt good.” 

“I imagine it did.” Ben nodded again. “So, what now?”

Hux shrugged. “Nothing’s really changed. We know what they are but not how to stop them.” He looked almost frightened for a moment. “I don’t want to spend eternity being assaulted by ghosts.”

“You won’t.” Ben knew he’d do whatever it took to help Hux. He’d failed him too many times already. He wouldn’t do it again.

Hux looked for a moment like he might actually smile at Ben, but then his eyes widened and he scrambled backward on his hands.

Ben was immediately on alert. He whipped around, only to see the three men from Hux’s past walking past him, approaching Hux, who was still panicking on the ground. Ben leapt to his feet and ran between Hux and the men, lightsaber drawn.

“You don’t touch him!” His words came out in an authoritative roar. He may not have been a sith anymore, but he still knew exactly how to channel his anger into power. He sliced through the three men before they could even draw their blasters, his fury urging him to move faster than he thought possible. It was over in just a moment, and Ben put his lightsaber away.

“Are you all right?” He knelt down next to Hux, who was breathing far too quickly, and put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s alright, they’re gone.”

Hux, much to Ben’s surprise, put his hand on top of Ben’s, holding him in place. “Don’t go.” His voice was soft and slightly shaky. 

“I won’t.” Ben promised, lightly squeezing Hux’s shoulder.

“Why do they keep coming back after you kill them?” Hux released Ben’s hand, placing his own hands back in his lap. “Why isn’t killing them enough? If we could just figure out how to kill them permanently we could fix this.” 

“This?” Ben released Hux’s shoulder to gesture between the two of them, trying to keep the hope out of his voice.

“Oh. No.” Hux shook his head. “That’s not what I-.” Hux must have noticed Ben’s face fall because he stopped. “Ben…. I don’t know. It’s a lot to work through, things aren’t just suddenly better because you apologized. I know you regret it, but that doesn’t fix what you did to me. So, I don’t know. But, it’s not a no.”

Ben offered a watery smile, “Not a no is better than I was expecting I guess. I’m not sure I deserve it but I’ll take it.”

Hux didn’t smile back, but he didn’t seem upset either, just exhausted. “I do care for you, Ben.”

Ben was about to confirm that he cared for Hux too, loved him, even, when he had a thought. “Oh! I wonder if it would be different if you killed him yourself!”

“What?” Hux looked utterly confused.

“Your father.” Ben explained. “I wonder if it would make a difference if you were the one to kill him. He’s here due to your own projections of fear, so maybe if you faced him he’d stop.”

“I don’t like that plan.” Hux’s face pinched in anxiety. 

“I won’t let him hurt you.” Ben promised. “You’d be safe.”

Hux just shook his head again. “You don’t understand what it’s like.”

“Hux I know you’re scared but this might be the only way for you to ever be free of him.” Ben pressed. “You can do this.”

“You never outgrow it.” Hux was curled into himself now, speaking to the ground. It was so wildly out of character that Ben fell silent to let him talk. “You think maybe someday you’ll stop flinching at every sudden movement but you never do. You can never stay calm when someone throws you something. You think raised voices won’t always make you panic, but they do. You never outgrow it no matter how much you try. The fear stays with you your whole life, no matter how much you try to distance yourself from it. You can never get rid of that feeling of dread, it just sits in the pit of your stomach, waiting for someone to seem angrier or disappointed. It never goes away!” 

Ben could hear tears in Hux’s voice now. He moved himself closer and cautiously put an arm around Hux’s shoulder. Hux shuddered before abruptly turning and pressing his face into Ben’s chest. Ben could feel Hux taking deep, shuddering breaths against him. 

“You shouldn’t have to live that way.” Ben brought his free hand around to rub circles on Hux’s back, something he remembered Hux doing for him what felt like a lifetime ago. “Maybe you’re right, and it will never fully be gone, but you shouldn’t have to carry around that much fear with you. Have you ever talked to anyone about this? Anyone at all?”

Hux shook his head, pulling his face back enough to answer. “I never let myself feel any of this while I was alive, at least, I tried not to. I buried it. I never wanted anyone to see how weak I was.”

“What?!” Ben pulled back slightly to stare at Hux. “Hux you’re not weak.”

“A weak willed coward.” Hux said plainly.

“Is that you talking, or them?” Ben raised his eyebrows at Hux, showing he didn’t buy that for a moment. “Hux, you’re the strongest person I know. You’ve gone your whole life with this and look what you did anyway. Look how high you climbed.”

“But it didn’t matter, did it?” Hux pulled fully out of Ben’s arms to speak to him. “Nothing I did mattered.”

“I don’t think you would’ve felt safe no matter how much power you gathered.” Ben spoke softly. “It doesn’t matter that you still died. That’s not what you should focus on. Hux you are so strong. I’ve seen you look death in the face without flinching.”

Hux shook his head. “Ben that’s not-” He cut himself off and stood abruptly, staring past Ben. Ben didn’t need to turn around to know what he’d see. 

“Face him, Hux.” Ben stood as well, turning to face the trio of men before stepping out of the way, making a clear path between them and Hux. “You can do this.”

Hux was shaking his head, hands balled into fists. He took a step backwards, before freezing. Ben watched as Hux shut his eyes and breathed for a moment, slowly and deliberately. He held his breath as Hux opened his eyes again, watched Hux slowly raise his hand which now held his blaster, watched him aim it at the man Ben assumed was his father. 

“You’re pathetic!” The man roared, and Hux faltered, glancing sideways at Ben. He kept his blaster pointed at his father’s head but his arm trembled and he didn’t fire. 

“Hux you can do this!” Ben didn’t want to intervene yet, this was something Hux needed to do.

“I-” Hux took another step back as the men advanced. “Ben I can’t. I’m so tired. I can’t keep doing this! I’m just so tired of being alone!”

“But you’re not.” Ben spoke softly in realization. “You don’t have to be alone anymore. Hux you’re not alone.” He walked confidently to Hux and held out his hand.

Hux looked at his hand for a moment and Ben was about to retract it in shame when Hux reached out and took his hand. Ben looked up and when Hux met his eyes he was almost smiling.

They turned as one back towards the three men, who had stopped their advance to watch. Ben squeezed Hux’s hand, a silent reminder that he was there now.

“I told Brooks something once.” Hux spoke to them, voice level. “I told him that you all underestimate me, every one of you. I think I understand why now. I was never the coward, it was all of you. Tormenting a boy with no power to fight back.” Hux laughed. “You were all cowards. It’s no wonder I surpassed all of you. I only wish you could’ve been there to see it.” He turned to look at Pryde, and wrinkled his nose. “Then again I guess I don’t. But in the end I still brought you down with me.” He laughed. “I am more powerful than all of you combined.” 

Ben grinned at Hux, even though he wasn’t looking at him. Stars he loved him. He heard three quick shots while he was staring and whipped his head back to see, nothing. The men were gone. 

Hux laughed again, turning to look at Ben. “I think I needed that.” He wasn’t quite smiling yet, but Ben hoped he could change that.

“Can I kiss you?” Ben spoke before he could change his mind. Staring wide eyed and apologetically at Hux.

Hyx looked shocked for a moment, he laughed and Ben felt his heart sink before Hux grabbed his face and pulled Ben towards him, closing the distance between them and mashing their lips together. Ben shut his eyes. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed this, and when he pulled back for air, Hux smiled at him. 

Ben would’ve loved to have just stayed like that for a while, but Hux had never been the type to relax for long. 

“What now?” Hux ran a hand through his hair, making sure it was still appropriately gelled in place.

Ben rolled his eyes and reached up, ruffling Hux’s hair. “It looks better that way.” He pulled his hand back when Hux gave him a look. “Okay, okay. I should probably go back to my parents, to at least tell them I figured out what I was supposed to do. But after that?” He looked at Hux, eyes shining. “We can go anywhere we want.”

Hux’s smile faltered slightly. “And if, Brendol, my father, comes back?” 

“Something tells me we won’t see him again.” Ben smiled at Hux. “But if he does come back I’d say we’re more than a match for one, or even three bitter old men.”

“We are.” Hux agreed. “How will we find your, erm, your parents?”

Hux didn’t sound exactly thrilled about meeting Ben’s family but Ben chose not to dwell on it. He’d like them once he met them. “I think we just walk with intent. The force will bring us back to them.” Of that he was fully confident. Ben held out his hand to Hux again, joy filling him when Hux took it.

They mostly walked in silence, wordlessly enjoying the other’s company. Ben couldn’t help occasionally bringing an arm around Hux’s middle or reaching up to mess with his hair. He’d missed this far too much not to take advantage of every second he had with Hux. 

Eventually, Ben had no idea how much time had actually passed, Ben saw a shape in the distance. As they got closer he was able to make it out as his parents sitting on the glider bench that used to hang on their porch. Ben had broken it during a fight when he was ten. It was one with the force now.

Leia raised a hand in greeting when she saw them and Han turned to see them as well. Ben hurried the rest of the way there, half dragging Hux there. His parents stood to greet him and Ben fell happily into the hug they offered. He pulled back after a moment, eager to introduce Hux. It wasn’t until a moment later when he noticed Hux and his mother staring at each other that he realized they already knew each other. This was going to be awkward.

“Hux, this is my mother, Leia Organa. Mom, this is Armitage Hux, my, um.” He faltered, not sure what label to give to Hux. It didn’t really matter, with the way the two were staring at each other he wasn’t sure they’d heard him at all.

“General.” Leia nodded at Hux. Okay, Ben could work with that. That was more courteous than he’d worried she’d be.

“General.” Hux nodded back. 

“And this is my father, Han Solo.” Ben was desperate to keep the tension from growing.

Han nodded at Hux as well. “I’m guessing you were a general on the other side, huh.” He didn’t sound very accusatory, more slightly amused by the awkwardness of the situation. 

Hux nodded. “I was a general of the First Order.”

“General Starkiller.” Leia sounded less than thrilled. 

“That was you?” Han looked between Leia and Hux before turning to give Ben a look that said, what were you thinking?

“If it helps.” Hux began. “I was also the spy who helped bring victory to the resistance.”

“That was you?!” Ben turned to look at Hux incredulously. 

Hux shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. “I was mad at you.” He stated plainly. 

Ben laughed in disbelief. “Of course it was you. I don’t know why I didn’t suspect that.”

“Because you were a terrible supreme leader.” Hux shrugged again. “And because you’re an idiot.”

“Fair enough.” Ben laughed again, before remembering that he had to calm his mother down. He turned back to her, relieved to find she was at least slightly amused. “He’s important to me.” Ben didn’t really know what else to say.

Leia didn’t answer for a moment, though she did frown slightly. Finally she seemed to come to a decision. “I suppose,” She said slowly. “I can set aside your previous actions due to the intelligence you gave us. And because you are important to my son.” Ben let out a breath of relief and was fairly certain he saw Hux do the same. 

“I appreciate that.” Hux spoke carefully, clearly not entirely comfortable with Leia. Ben couldn’t blame him. She could be terrifying if she wanted to. There was a slightly awkward silence for a moment before Han cleared his throat loudly.

“Hey kid,” Han got Ben’s attention. “Want to help your old man fix the back door? Your mom’s been on me about it since she showed up here.” He laughed. Ben looked at Hux, worried about leaving him alone. “Hux can come too.” Han offered. “I can give him the dad talk.” 

“The dad talk?” Ben followed Han behind the house. He hadn’t noticed when the house had appeared but they were standing on grass outside the house so it must have happened at some point. 

“Sure.” Han grinned at Ben over his shoulder. “The whole, break his heart and they’ll never find your body, also have him home before midnight.”

“Dad!” Ben turned bright red.

“What?” Han laughed. “You two are together, right?”

“I’m going to kill you.” Ben groaned.

“Again?” Han lightly punched Ben’s shoulder.

Ben covered his mouth, eyes wide in horror. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t think!”

Han just laughed. “Hey, I’m over it. I know you didn’t mean it kiddo.”

Ben kind of wanted to tell Han that he was thirty years old and didn’t need to be called kiddo anymore. On the other hand he hadn’t heard Han call him that since he really was a kid and it felt good and familiar. He opted not to say anything.

They reached the back of the house and walked up to the back door with Hux trailing behind. “The whole door’s crooked.” Han explained. “We need to take it out and reattach it to the frame.”

“Can’t you just sort of, will it to be fixed?” Ben gestured vaguely. 

“Probably.” Han shrugged. “But your mother wants me to fix it the old fashioned way. I think it’s mostly because I never fixed it when we were alive. That’s what I get for procrastinating.”

Ben snorted a little. “She’s the boss, right?” 

“Damn right.” Han nodded. “Pass me a screwdriver, will you.”

“Where am I supposed to find a screwdriver?” Ben stared at his father as he scrutinized the door, taking in how much work it would take.

“From a tool box.” Han said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Like you said, just will it to be.”

Ben shrugged. He’d never done this on purpose but figured it should work like his lightsaber had. Sure enough, when he looked down at the porch there was a toolbox sitting on it. He popped it open and handed his father a screwdriver, confident without looking that it would be the right shape.

“That’s the one.” Han confirmed when he took it. “He began undoing screws to remove the hinges. “Hey, Hux, can you take these?” 

Ben was pleased Han was making an effort to include Hux, but all thoughts of inclusivity left him when he turned to see Hux standing hesitantly at the base of the back porch steps. “Hux?” He walked quickly down the stairs to him.

“May I speak with you privately?” Hux gestured away with his head.

“Sure.” Ben couldn’t help the pool of worry in his gut. “Is everything okay?”

Hux was silent as they walked a few yards away. They reached a tree towards the edge of the yard and stopped. 

“Hux what’s going on? Is everything alright?” Ben reached out to him but Hux shrunk away slightly and Ben dropped his hand.

“I don’t belong here.” Hux said plainly. “I should leave.”

“No!” Ben gasped. “Hux if you don’t want to stay here we can leave. We can go anywhere you want, I promise. Don’t leave.”

Hux shook his head. “Ben, you have a family. I can’t take that from you. It wouldn’t be right. You’ll be happy here. And I’ll be alright. I can handle Brendol now. Don’t worry about me.”

Ben shook his head violently, his hair fell in his face and he frantically pushed it back. “You’re my family, Hux. If you want me to stay here then stay with me. If you leave I won’t be able to stay here anyway. I’ll have to leave to find you again.” 

Hux laughed bitterly. “Ben you belong here. I don’t. I’m not, suited, for this.” He spoke slowly, like he was carefully picking his words.

“Not suited to what? Being happy?” Ben stared at him incredulously. “Hux you deserve happiness too.”

“And if I ruin it for you?” Hux cupped Ben’s cheek. “I can’t intrude on this, Ben.”

“The only way you could ruin this is by leaving.” Ben insisted. “Please, stay with me. Hux you are just as important to me as my parents. You’re family, and if you leave then I’m leaving too. Please, stay.” He put his hand over Hux’s on his cheek, as if to hold him there.

Hux shook his head again, but Ben could tell his resolve was weakening. 

“Please stay, Hux. I won’t be happy here without you. If you really want me to stay here then you’d better stay too. Otherwise I’ll never stop following you.” 

Hux shook his head again, but this time he was smiling slightly. He let out a sigh that sounded equal parts exasperated and amused. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

Ben grinned. “Be happy with me?” He released his hold on the hand on his face and instead held out his hand for Hux to take, an invitation. 

Hux sighed again, looked briefly up at the sky, and then took Ben’s hand. When Hux met Ben’s eyes he looked uncertain and nervous. Ben smiled brightly and brought his other hand down to surround Hux’s. “You deserve to be happy, Hux.”

They walked hand in hand back to Han, who was talking on the back porch with Leia. She must have known something was wrong, Ben thought. She always knew somehow. 

“So,” She raised an eyebrow, but smiled welcomingly. “What are you two doing now?” Her face made it clear she would respect whatever decision they had made. 

“We’re staying.” Ben smiled. “Both of us.” 

Leia nodded, and Ben had a feeling she’d already known that. She must have already had some idea of what they had talked about as well because she turned to Hux and opened her arms to him invitingly. Hux remained frozen in place until Ben gently shoved him forward into the hug. “Welcome to the family.” Leia smiled knowingly at Ben over and Hux’s shoulder and Ben smiled back in a silent thanks.

Leia held Hux until he chose to pull away. She gave the best mom hugs that way, in Ben’s opinion. Hux took a step back next to Ben and gripped his hand again. Ben laughed. “Come here, you idiot.” He pulled Hux down for another kiss. They were both finally home.


End file.
